I'm not homesick.
I've just been feeling kind of sad lately. I think it's because I have fantastic, ambitious friends who have scattered themselves around the country. I mean, that's great because it means they're all doing fun, interesting things that make me even prouder to have them as friends. It sucks, however, because I no longer have a place where I feel naturally comfortable. Sure, there's my hometown, but the only people I have there consistently are my parents (who are great, by the way) and members of my extended family. My high school friends have all moved away, as have my college friends from my college town.
The distance between all of us feels the greatest when I have problem or dilemma, as I did this week. I have now had phone conversations with five separate people and countless IM discussions with my circle of friends about the dilemma. True to form, each of them gave me thoughtful and often hilarious advice. So, good job friends. Thing is, by the time I talked to another friend tonight, I just didn't have the energy to tell the story again. It frustrates me that except by electronic means, it's generally impossible for us to get together in groups. This summer I attended a wedding that a large group of my female friends were all able to attend. We were foolishly giddy about being all together at once, which became quite obvious, unfortunately, in our wedding reception antics. I guess I'm sad now because that feeling is so rare.
It also annoys me that I don't have a solution to this problem. In fact, I'm part of it -- I moved thousands of miles away just like the others. Sure, I'm making new friends at law school and they're bright and quirky and challenging, just like my old friends. Thing is, in three years we'll all scatter, too. So, that's what I've been thinking about today (other than the compelling world of Contracts, of course), the challenge of maintaining community without proximity. Like Contracts, I haven't really come up with any answers.
The distance between all of us feels the greatest when I have problem or dilemma, as I did this week. I have now had phone conversations with five separate people and countless IM discussions with my circle of friends about the dilemma. True to form, each of them gave me thoughtful and often hilarious advice. So, good job friends. Thing is, by the time I talked to another friend tonight, I just didn't have the energy to tell the story again. It frustrates me that except by electronic means, it's generally impossible for us to get together in groups. This summer I attended a wedding that a large group of my female friends were all able to attend. We were foolishly giddy about being all together at once, which became quite obvious, unfortunately, in our wedding reception antics. I guess I'm sad now because that feeling is so rare.
It also annoys me that I don't have a solution to this problem. In fact, I'm part of it -- I moved thousands of miles away just like the others. Sure, I'm making new friends at law school and they're bright and quirky and challenging, just like my old friends. Thing is, in three years we'll all scatter, too. So, that's what I've been thinking about today (other than the compelling world of Contracts, of course), the challenge of maintaining community without proximity. Like Contracts, I haven't really come up with any answers.