North Maple Rag

Two of my closest friends (KH and KB) are staying with me this weekend and this morning KH told me that I'm "wired for chaos." We were at brunch and she had just watched me take apart my club sandwich so I could eat the parts I liked (the cucumber, tomato, and bacon). The comment came after I finished eating and my plate was covered in sandwich debris; I thought it was her polite way of telling me I'm messy. Instead, she clarified that she thinks some people are just naturally more comfortable than others among chaos. KH then told me that I have a knack for sifting through the chaos to locate the important stuff and get rid of the crap.

I'm not sure if that's true, but it was a nice thing to say even if it did carry the implication that I occasionally create my chaos. I'm also not sure if I really have a point in writing this, but I've been thinking about the comment all day. I realized that I do enjoy living with a certain amount of uncertainty, I'm comfortable around clutter, and I rarely mind being lost. We're now watching one of my favorite movies and when KH was setting up the dvd player, she noted with amusement that there was a kitchen knife behind my tv and that seemed to be a slight confirmation of my chaotic lifestyle.

The biggest uncertainties right now are my fall grades and summer plans. I've managed to get my grade worries under control and I'm really enjoying the fact that my summer could take me anywhere. I've been looking for jobs in a few West Coast cities, a few Midwest cities and DC, as well as the odd job in Atlanta. I like the idea that this summer could take me somewhere familiar or somewhere new. I'm not sure what I'll be ready for, but I hope I'll have options.

KH gave me a great book for Christmas. It's called Portable Prairie: Confessions of an Unsettled Midwesterner. The author, M.J. Andersen, grew up in my part of South Dakota, moved to the East Coast for college, and has continued to live out here. I've only read 50 pages, but I'm hoping to find some wisdom on the process/possibility of finding and making a home away from the place I think of as home.

This "home" thing is something I've been dwelling on in recent months and I had a needed reality check today. KH, KB and I spent the afternoon at Ellis Island. The place has been cleverly renovated and the National Park Service guides are engaging. One guide in particular got me thinking about my own ancestors who first traveled from Germany to Russia and then sailed to New York from Odessa. There's also a great exhibit of photos taken by and stories written by high school students who have recently immigrated to the U.S. All in all, it was a good reminder that my "home" issues (ooh, there's a word I don't like to use) could be far more difficult to overcome than they are.

Well, this post may not count as chaotic, but it was certainly rambly. I suppose I'll have to shift back to my focused law student mode at some point and stop reading books like Portable Prairie, but I'm going to put that off as long as possible. I've enjoyed reading and talking about stuff other than the law too much to give it up yet.