North Maple Rag

I've been thinking a lot about confidence this morning. Today's lawyering class included a de-briefing on our recent mediation exercise. It was an interesting discussion. A few of the groups found themselves in tricky situations involving mediators who were less than stellar. In retrospect, they wished they'd followed their instincts and been more agressive in making sure their mediations stayed on track and followed certain protocol. My mediation was pretty painless and I wondered what I would've done if confronted by a situation similar to theirs. I doubt that I would've done much better in standing up to a bad mediator. Thing is, law school's done a pretty effective job of convincing us 1Ls that we're dumb.

It's funny because I'm pretty sure most of us were confident creatures in our pre-law school lives. Across the board, my classmates have the kinds of academic and professional accomplishments that don't come from being meek. Yet, here we are, six months into our legal careers, doubting our every move. I blame finals. And Westlaw (legal research is daunting). Mostly though, I blame us. We've managed to forget that the intelligence that got us into law school is a big part of what's also going to make us good lawyers.

Don't get me wrong, we absolutely should not be allowed to defend someone in court, to file briefs, or to do a lot of the things practicing lawyers do. We've got a lot to learn, but that caveat doesn't mean our opinions and analysis aren't valid and it shouldn't prevent us from trusting ourselves.

I was surprised to find that I'm genuinely excited about starting our final lawyering project. We're writing appellate briefs and it involves pretty complicated research and analysis. Mainly, I'm hoping the project will show me and my classmates just how much we've learned this year. I'm hoping the others are as excited as me and that we'll have thoughtful arguments during the upcoming classes.

Also, the preliminary work has placed me back in my comfort zone of legislative research. I love piecing together the background on a statute. It's often confusing and almost always frustrating, but I can do it with confidence and it's good to have that feeling back. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm ready to not be at the beginning of law school. It's time for the middle -- that's when you continue to learn and grow, but also have the skills and knowledge to be taken seriously.